LEARNING TO LISTEN TO YOUR BODY - AN EMBODIED PRACTICE FOR LIFE & LEADERSHIP BY ALYSSA DECARO
LEARNING TO LISTEN TO YOUR BODY - AN EMBODIED PRACTICE FOR LIFE & LEADERSHIP
What does it mean to listen to your body, and why does it matter even if you’re not leading anyone in anything? What does this have to do with you and your practice? I’ll share from my experience of a lifetime dedicated to embodiment practices that have connected me with my values and purpose, and directly influenced my style of leadership over the past 24 years. Whether you are a boss, teacher, parent, facilitator, or friend, there is huge value in honing your inner landscape to gracefully shift from careless reaction to mindful response. After all, this is what creates safe space, and the true journey begins within.
The art of facilitation has always fascinated me, and the desire to master it has shaped my work in the world. I learned about “holding space” for others by teaching yoga for the past 24 years and creating a safe place for people to practice, learn, connect and truly transform. I realized that the thousands of hours spent practicing, studying and paying attention to my own body is what really set the stage for me to hold space for others. I learned how to be an embodied leader by deeply getting to know myself and tuning my own instrument. Being an embodied leader starts with developing a healthy relationship with your body through deep listening, which has everything to do with YOU and your practice.
Perhaps the most courageous journey we can take is traversing our inner landscape.
You may be thinking…”I’m in my body all day, don’t you think I already have a relationship with it?” Well, yes of course, but just because you spend all day together doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a healthy relationship. Imagine having a relationship with a friend or your child, but you are constantly too busy or distracted to actually listen to what this person is sharing. You’re there, but not truly present. It will quickly become unsatisfying and even worse, over time will create riffs that require large measures to repair. This also happens with your body.
Imagine your body as a company in which you are the CEO. All the different parts represent the employees, some of whom are overworked, exhausted, and entitled while others are under-utilized, discouraged and disengaged waiting for the day to be over. The attitudes developed over time worsen and create a pretty negative environment. You are the one that needs to gather the team with inspiring leadership. No one is fully satisfied in their roles, and everyone longs to feel like they’re part of a team that’s working together towards a collective goal. A goal for what? Well, that’s up to you and your values.
When you are in tune with yourself and aligned with your values you can have clear communication to express what you want, what you need, and what you are offering the world.
Ooh, sounds good, but what if my values feel different than they used to be?
Of course they do, because you are different. First become aware of how you feel, right now. You are always changing, and therefore it’s crucial to listen to what you need as you shift from who you were to who you are. Most people are stuck in who they used to be, or who they imagine they should be. It shows up all the time in how you practice asana as though the pose should be different than what it is based on what it used to be, or what your neighbor is doing, or what you think the ideal end goal is. This often rolls over to who you think others should be, rather than seeing them for who they are now. Navigating this rut into a new groove starts with creating time and space to listen.
All relationships thrive with deep listening to allow for clear expression which in turn fosters true connection. This starts by slowing down and paying attention. Often this can reveal all the parts that are longing to be heard including the weak, sore, achy and ignored parts of ourselves, as well as the healthy, strong, vital parts. This takes courage and patience, yet it absolutely leads to deeper awareness, fulfilling relationships, and a richer life.
HOW? How do I listen to my body?
It can be quite simple actually. Just like getting to know a friend, start by asking your body a question…”how are you today?” or “what do you have to share with me today?”. Then take the time to listen for an answer, without judgment.
One of the best ways to develop a healthy relationship is to set aside time regularly to deepen this connection. Just like when you sit down for coffee or tea with a friend, you may receive a more authentic, vulnerable response than if you were to ask as you run by on your way out the door. I recommend doing an embodied movement practice that encourages you to listen to your body daily, even if it’s just for a few minutes at a time. Two key ways to incorporate this into your life are by finding a teacher that you resonate with, and/or finding a specific style that provides a healthy challenge while simultaneously relaxing you.
Ooh, you’ve piqued my curiosity!
Awesome, I’d love to share this Whole Body audio meditation with you to spark your reconnection with your body. Set aside about 15 minutes, and have some paper and pen to write at the end. I hope you enjoy it!
I developed Body of Sound (BoS) to incorporate embodiment practices for a sound body, meaning a body that is healthy, awake and full of vitality. Beyond personal health, BoS is a practice of tuning your body as your most essential instrument to play with the ensemble of the world around you. This sparks leadership within yourself first which then ripples out to all your relations impacting how you relate with loved ones, your work, and the world around you. Truly knowing yourself is the best way to be of service to the world.
How does this relate to embodied leadership?
Leadership can have many different meanings in various contexts. However, embodied leadership means to truly embody your values and lead by example. How do you embody qualities that inspire others to follow you and to trust you, not because they have to but because they want to? Embodied leadership takes practice, and it begins with personal practice. To be an embodied leader is to know oneself and have the courage to truly lead by example while being in touch with your own body and breath to respond in real time.
Trust your intuition, your body will guide you into alignment. Trust the process, and enjoy the journey.
If you’re interested in expanding your personal practice, check out my offerings including an upcoming daylong retreat March 17th, weekly classes and private sessions. If you’re intrigued by embodied leadership, consider joining my upcoming workshop Mastering The Art of Facilitation at The Green Yogi.
Alyssa DeCaro is an embodiment coach, group facilitator, yoga teacher, dancer, and musician with 23 years of experience. She has taught and performed at venues ranging from Esalen Institute to Burning Man to Genentech to the TED Conference. As a yoga teacher, Alyssa is known for her fluid sequencing, precise verbal cues, and heartfelt presence. She teaches locally in the California Bay area and has an online membership program. When leading groups, Alyssa has a natural ability to shape the collective field...transforming an ordinary room into an inspiring space where practice and play intertwine.
For more information on Alyssa and her offerings visit https://www.bodyofsound.com
